It’s a typical story. One you’ve all heard a thousand times. Girl goes out to see her favorite band play. Girl decides to get her poster signed and strikes up a conversation with the cute Boy in the band. Girl and Boy talk. Girl says goodnight and, before she leaves, squeezes Boy’s butt (Girl is not generally one to squeeze butts belonging to those with whom she is newly acquainted).

Boy, although slightly nonplussed, is not turned off by this violation of boundaries. In fact, unknown to Girl, Boy has spent several minutes backstage before the show talking to his bandmates about this strikingly beautiful individual (bearing a remarkable resemblance to Girl) that he had seen during previous shows in this fine Oklahoma town. Boy does not let on to his bandmates that he had thought about said gorgeous individual countless times over the past several years. And suddenly, Boy finds himself face to face with Girl. A butt squeeze, far from being intrusive or invasive, is in fact something of a dream-come-true for Boy.

As Boy travels a thousand miles to his home, he begins learning more about Girl online (Girl will later call this “stalking”). They begin a correspondence, and within a month, Boy makes the trek across the plains to visit Girl. Hearts are seen in eyes. After a lengthy long-distance relationship, Boy departs his eastern abode to spend his days with Girl in the prairie of Oklahoma.